Stupid Questions people ask when you break up..!

How did it happen??

Yesterday i found out he had pictures of Justin Bieber that were quite questionable. LIKE REALLY QUESTIONABLE.

Are you okay?

Yes I m okay, i broke up, i do not have STD (at least i hope so)

Was it bad?

NO..i mean i kicked him in the place it hurts the most and then we got into a very good physical fight and people had to come and free us before we nearly killed each other but other than that i think it not at all bad.

Did he/she cheat on you?

Yes and I caught him in bed with the guy next door, the things were kind of hot and heavy.

Will you take him back?

I will rather go to a lion’s cage dressed as a deer and patiently wait for him to come and eat me than go through all that non sense ALL over again, let’s be honest the death will be less painful than hearing your drama all over again.

So will you date again?

Oh no! Never. I will never date anyone in the near future, i will grow old with 50 pet cats and bitch about how pathetic men are and how i am loved by my 50 cats. AH! WHAT A LIFE IT WILL BE.

 

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Types of Ex’s

When your ex says you will never find someone like me reply with ‘that’s the point’.. how many times have i read this thing? countless 😛 and then i saw a lot of people write or even post videos on YouTube about types of ex’s  so i thought why not i give it a try

so here are the following types of EX’S 

1. The Bipolar – you had a relationship which turned sour for what ever reason and you decide to call off the relationship and your boyfriend or girlfriend agrees until they are home alone. They will start sending you texts “baby please take me back, i still love you’ and when you don’t respond to the text it goes something like this ‘i effing hate you, you are such a moron. I am better off without you anyway’ and then you still don’t respond ‘please baby reply i swear i was angry’ and this goes on and on and on and on. 
2. The Stalker – So you broke up with him/her and they seemed quite cool with it and you thought they handled it very well UNTIL you start seeing them everywhere you go.Your school, gym, at a party, mall any where! and when you see them, they make it look like an “accident” like what sort of accident is that? was i dating a guy or some Freddy Kruger because you don’t have to kill me in my sleep, you are a waking nightmare.
3. The Fly – Have you ever been irritated by a fly? You know what i mean, right? No matter how much you try to shoo it away it will just keep  buzzing in your ear and you will start yelling all sorts of abuses you know. This is exactly the same. No matter how much you try to shut them off they will still keep buzzing in your ear, it doesn’t matter to them if you broke up ages ago, they will still want to find out “how are you” and “what are you doing” 
4. The Jerk – This person was a jerk even when you were a relationship and a super jerk when you are not in a relationship anymore. Usually they think they are so important and you can’t live your life without them and usually they pass that weird smile when ever you pass through them (if you know what i mean :P)
5. The horn dog – Though you have broken up but then this person proposes ‘friends with benefits” type of thing, the only thing you can do is kick him in the curb and if it’s a girl break her most precious thing. you ain’t no booty call! 

 

Well that’s all i got for today 😀 if you think of something more, let me know. till then see you later you beautiful people 😀 

Fiction vs Reality

Everyone has a fantasy world. Some find it in books, some in movies, some even in anime also. For me it is both movies and books ( i stopped watching anime a long time back) and many times i discuss a book with my friends, they will end up telling me how such and such guy from such and such book is so cool, how sexy they are, i wish he was my boyfriend, i wish i could go to a school like that and what not and sometimes it is fun to hear them but after a while it gets really annoying.

First of all the book is categorized under “fiction” because it is imagination of someone, it did not happen to that person and i doubt he will actually want it to happen to them, they want to give readers a sense of world so that they can run their imagination around, but sadly some of us get obsessed , like a lot!

So i am here to list out the difference between fiction and reality :

The love for vampires 

You know what i am talking about, a long time back way before vampires were sparkly and shining like fairies and get almost raped my girls, they were actually scary. They had a sense of horror,mystery to them. You get picked up my a handsome man, you talk to him, laugh and next thing you know the fangs have come out and you are screaming. But now every girl wants a boyfriend like Edward Cullen. I mean why? He is a vampire, he is actually dead, and he feeds on blood! and seriously you want a boyfriend like him? he tends to overreact on every single thing and if you want a guy who tells you cheesy lines, date mozzarella or any cheese you like.

 

The love for Dominant type personality 

I really don’t mind reading erotic novels, but when you do dirty in every chapter it really gets boring, and another hot book among women is 50 shades of grey. Personally i don’t hate the book but i find it weird.. I don’t know. In some of the erotic novels you read, the guy is mostly some what a dominant personality and the women being the submissive one. You pick any erotic novel, any smut manga, it’s the same story every time and girls are rooting for characters like these. They are forceful, it’s not cute and why most of the time the guy is dominant one? why not the girl being the dominant one?

I want my school to be like that

You know school like Hogwarts aah! i wish my school was like that but on the second thought i think my was fine the way it was. I mean i don’t want to go to a school where teachers become what ever they like (say cat or even invisible) and second i don’t want my life to be in danger, i mean i already hated going school and the thought that today will be my last day because i might be killed by YOU KNOW WHAT is kind of enough to make me like my own school.

I wish i had a love story like that

You already have a boyfriend. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM HIM?

Right now these are the only things i can come up with 😛 but if you know more let me know 😀

Stupid Questions People Ask Non Vegetarians

Why do you eat non veg?? 

well because i want to stay in touch with the cave woman inside me, what kind of question is that? i eat it because i like it.

You eat dead animals?? 

Yeah any type of dead animal will do

Why do you kill innocent animals?

Because i am a selfish little prick who doesn’t want to eat plants alone, i want to eat every thing that has life in it.

Don’t you like vegetarian?

Is it necessary? god leave me be.

You know eating non vegetarian will make you fat?

I am holding too many nuggets,burgers,tandoori chicken to answer your question but still I DO NOT CARE.

HAHA! You can survive in china even..or any other country that eats such stuff…!

First i will carry my poultry farm with me ( if i have one) second YOU ARE RACIST.

Will You sit next to someone else i have a problem with non veg food. Please?

Of course i will sit somewhere else because i have a problem with YOU.

Did you touch that?

Yup, eat it or leave it.

 

 

Annoying things in a romantic movie

As i have already said that i like movies but my least preferred genre is romantic movies due to the following annoying things..!

1. The annoying best friend– you pick up any romantic movie, any romantic novel it will always have one best friend that is either there to fall in love with the lead or with the lead’s boyfriend/girlfriend or that annoying friend that hooks them up and then torturing us with their stupid romance.
2. The Lead– okay straight up, the lead has to be one of the most annoying things in the movie. They will either be jerks,promiscuous or so stupid that they won’t even know the fact that they are in love with their best friend or their best friend is in love with them.
3. Falling for the wrong person – the guy is a jerk, you know it, your friend knows it, even the whole town knows it and you decide to fall for him?? WHY?? Then you think you can change him/her? WHY? Seriously if the guy/girl makes you cry, you kind of deserve it.
4. Thinking love can change everything – Love cannot change drug or alcohol addicts, stop acting like a little angel and get your facts straight, they need a doctor or maybe rehab not Love.
5. Falling in love with your family’s enemy – you know your families are sworn enemies and you still decide to fall in love with each other of all the people in the world, only to get killed in the end? weird

These are the things that annoy me, i have not included things like misunderstandings or romantic gestures or anything of the sort that really cannot happen 😛

hey..sorry :(

hey! how are all of you! been long time?! i am so sorry! my net was down and i couldn’t post 😦 i mean it was so annoying! every time i tried to connect the internet it would be like “NO I WON’T DO IT!’ and i would be sitting there like “PLEASE” but the most annoying thing was the customer care executive that was annoying the crap out of me!

Firstly i call them like twenty thousand times before they pick up their damn phone! i feel like a stalker and every time the bell goes i am like “PLEASE PICK UP PLEASE” but will they pick up? oh no my friend, until and unless you have proved the telephone company that you are suffering from some sort of delusion they will not pick up the phone.

Then comes the second thing “the wait” i have already called you so many times and when you finally decide to pick your phone , you effing decide to put me on hold?! dude! what’s wrong with you? Just when i decide to open my mouth to tell about my problem or feel happy you have picked up the phone i hear this “your call is important for us please wait on the line” like i don’t get it, if my call is so god damn important why did you put me on hold??? and after 5 minutes of being on hold, i decide to cut the call and when i check my balance they have deducted 5 bucks!

i am a student i cant afford to lose 5 bucks on the call that hasn’t even taken place? what’s with that? you tell us it’s “toll free” and then you shamelessly charge me? :O

Finally when i was able to talk to the person of interest he turned out to be complete moron! i kept telling him my problem and he kept adding to my distress “how long has this been going on?’ “have you restarted your computer?’ “was this problem before” and thousands of questions, you are paid to listen why can’t you do it properly, i already told you my problem and you act like this and then when i lose my temper in frustration you tell me to calm the eff down. Well anyway god bless you because finally my net has started 😀

P.S i am really sorry, but i promise i will be more punctual this time 😀 and i missed you a lot! 😀

Types of Drunk people..!

Well I am back! You missed me?? Of course you did, come let me hug you, aww aren’t you a cute little thing. :-*

No, i am not drunk because if i was i would be typing like  this “gahahahkdlc” but i am not so i am not drunk, i was yesterday but not anymore 😛 ya know what i mean yo! 😛

Okay i am that kind of person who does not get drunk often and i really never drink but that does not mean i don’t know the brands, to be honest when i meet people who like to drink here is how the conversation and my thought process goes :-

A – hey.. how are you? it’s been so long (they slur when they talk)

Me- i am fine how are you? (umm..what are you talking about, we just met an hour ago, what did you drink and how much?)

A – You know what my boyfriend is such a jerk

Me- oh really what happened? (I don’t care! At least you have one)

A- He likes the Winx club show

Me – SAY WHAT! O_O

Yes this is how it goes, they say the most random thing you can ever think of and then they expect you to agree with them and honestly i liked that show though the title character was like annoying but Raven was so effing hot!

Anyway i decided to you know write down the different types of drunk people based on my experience..LIKE A BOSS!

1. The stupid drunk – usually this person is very intelligent and some what well informed but as soon as one sip of whiskey and you really start doubting their grades. They tell you the most dumbest joke you have ever heard and then laugh as if their lives depend on it.
2. The political drunk – They don’t give an eff about politics, if politics was the bull, they’ll be like 10 feet away from it and one shot of vodka and they are the political guru? Not sure how that works…
3. The innocent drunk – Usually this person NEVER drinks and mostly is the one who takes care of all the other drunk people unless..they accidentally drink the coke they left a moment ago 😀
4. The shameless drunk- PERVERT ALERT – mostly they are not that big perverts in real life but one shot and if feels like you are the walking porn! it don’t matter you are girl, boy,married, unmarried,gay,lesbian or anything! it does not matter to them and they will be looking at you with those creepy eyes and that creepy smile that makes you want to run and hide in a room. They will be ogling your breasts or crotch (if you are a guy)
5. The love drunk – This person straight up loves each and everyone present in that room with them. The girl who cheated him or the boy who stole the lunch money, they don’t care , they love each and everyone of them and usually it follows by a proclamation of love and saying ‘i love you’ and hugs and kisses 😛
6. The fantasy drunk – Well when ever this person drinks, every fantasy he/ she thinks of come to life 😛 be it ANY FANTASY ya know what i mean? 😛

 

Well that’s all i have for today 😀 hope you enjoyed it! and be a responsible drunk
😀